8 years with my mister. It's flown by, yet at the same time, our first days together seem like an eternity ago. I think...no, I know that when we first got hitched we were both completely young & naive. Days out of college graduation, in our early 20's, we were thrown into marriage, moved far away from our families and entered full time ministry. We had NO CLUE what it was to be married, nor did we have any clue what was ahead of us.
So often people put so much time and effort into their wedding DAY that they forget to step back and ponder their wedded life they are about to enter into. I remember talking to a friend a few years ago who explained to me that she had put so much effort and thought into, 'one day I'll get married...and my wedding will be perfect...and then I will have reached my life's epitome...' that she didn't even think to stretch her mind around life AFTER the wedding. She said, 'It was like we got married, and then I was like...okay, now what?'
I think it was much the same for me. I married my best friend and love of my life, but then I had to learn how to live life united with someone else. I was an independent girl....completely clueless of so many things.
Little did I know we would laugh together....SO hard...that my husband would teach me to just sit and belly laugh through life's roughest days. He turned my freak out moments into laugh-so-hard-you-cry moments. He's mellowed me just through his ways.
I didn't realize I was such a worrier. His relaxed, trusting mannor is a stark contrast to mine. I've learned so much from that. I've seen him trust in God through everything, and that has been such an example to me. He's taught me how to change my worry to trust without speaking a word.
He's blunt, honest and sarcastic. This has gone largely misunderstood by many people who don't completely know him. I've come to appreciate it, and can pretty much tell exactly what funny sarcastic phrase will leave his mouth at any given moment. He's hilarious.
I didn't know we'd experience so many losses together. His sister, his grandmother, my grandfather and four of our own children. Walking through mutual grief with someone is something I never pondered prior to marriage. We've walked through much fire together, experienced testing of faith together.....grown through loss together. I just never realized....
And when we first were married, neither of us wanted children. Together, our hearts changed. And together, we've had a daughter and have learned/are learned how to raise a mini-us. Quite an experience.
He's taught me how to dream big. This man has big dreams...big ambitions. When he comes up with an idea, it's not small....it's gigantic. I have seen that naturally, my dreams are small. He's challenged my 'realistic' thinking with his 'everything is possible with God' thinking. A lesson I am honored to learn.
But what I've learned the most about marriage these past 8 years, is that it hasn't turned out exactly like I had planned. No, but it's real...it's not perfect, but it's real. Marriage is a commitment...a decision that triumphs over feelings. I've learned just what a beautiful thing it is to have someone by your side through all of life's ups and downs. I've learned how to love deeper, worry less, laugh harder and roll with the punches. My husband has taught me so many things, and I love him so very much. I love growing old with him ALREADY. Happy 8 years Kirk. Here's to many more!
May 22nd, 2004
April, 2012
